Some people believe that time spent on television and computer games can be valuable for children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Comments about the task:
1.Both sides and opinion essay
Plan:
Advantages
1.developing intelligence
2.ability to use a computer
Disadvantages
1.addiction
2.physical health problem
Model Answer:
Electronic games such as TV, video and computer games are prevalent among young people. However, whether these games benefit or cause problems for them is a difficult question to answer. This essay discusses the question from both points of view and then I will give my own perspective on the matter.
On one side of the argument, there are people who argue that the merits of electronic games for a child considerably outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that electronic games may increase the intelligence of a child. This is because many intelligent games such as puzzles and strategy games involve extensive thinking and other brain activities. Another benefit of electronic games is that they are helpful in developing children’s computer literacy, which may play an important role in their future academic or career development. In fact, for many people, their mastering of computer applications starts from their interest in computer games at an early age.
On the other hand, it is also possible to make an opposing case. It is argued that children are often found to be addicted to electronic games, which could negatively affect their study. Since teenagers usually lack self-control, addiction to games may cause them to give up study completely. Not only this but spending a long time on electronic games may negatively affect their physical development. For example, when they sit in front of a computer or TV for hours with an improper posture, their physical fitness can be harmed. Also, staring at a screen can cause short-sightedness.
In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance, however, I tend to believe that electronic games are more beneficial to children than harmful. This is because the merits of them developing intelligence and the ability to use a computer outweigh the side effects of game addiction and physical health problems. [311 words]
Language:
prevalent = widespread
computer literacy = knowledge of computers
self-control = ability to control oneself without the need for help from others
improper posture = incorrect way of sitting or standing
short-sightedness = inability to see far away objects clearly
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In the last paragraph, “This is because the merits of them developing intelligence and the ability to use a computer…”
Why did you use them? Is that okay to use “their” instead of “them”?
Them is used as a pronoun for children and seems to me correct. You may be able to use their but it seems wrong to me.
https://wikidiff.com/them/their#:~:text=As%20pronouns%20the%20difference%20between,%2C%20or%20relating%20to%2C%20them.
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In the first body paragraph you write “outweigh the disadvantages”. Is it disadvantages of advantages?
You can see the sentence below it says “that the merits outweigh the disadvantages”…this signals thatthe paragraph is about advantages
On one side of the argument there are people who argue that the merits of electronic games for a child considerably outweigh the disadvantages.