Off Topic Response IELTS Essay

The purpose of this post is to illustrate an off topic response.

QUESTION:
As English is now the world language and an essential skill in business, English language instruction should begin in kindergarten. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

STUDENTS RESPONSE
In this Modern era, successive growth in any country will be achieved by understandable language communication. To acquire this, a multinational language like English needs to be learned by every individual in all nations. I agree with the opinion that English language should be taught as an essential tool for children from their nursery age.

EXAMINER’S NOTE: off topic you need to mention learning in kindergarten]
Firstly, by teaching English as the primary language in kindergarten it will be better for society in terms of economic and business growth. There will be strong and mutual relationships with other countries that can result in unproblematic exchanges of natural resources. In addition, second language English speaking countries like China and Korea are starting to use English as their primary subject in the education sector. In keeping in mind the long term, it can used as utile tool that leads to an effective communication between instructors and students which results in competitive results.  

EXAMINER’S NOTE: this is not very focused on learning at kindergarten. How it will that lead to the benefits you mention in this paragraph is not very clear]
Secondly, people can seek extensive job offers nationally and internationally. This leads to constructive growth and strong relationships between family and better education for their children. It can also result in a reduction in unemployment, poverty and decline in crime rate which is high in underdeveloped countries.

EXAMINER’S NOTE: even for adults learning English you would have to explain how these outcomes will be achieved. ]
Finally, language is vital when travelling through different places. people tend to travel to learn about cultures, religion and the way of living. This can be achieved if everyone can be on same page with English as their first language.

EXAMINER’S NOTE: this does not seem to relate to learning in kindergarten.
In conclusion, I accept the fact that English language needs to be focused on the centre not only for development of business and nation. it should be adopted for personal growth. Indeed Easy language communication can relate to better understanding by solving conflict situations.

EXAMINER’S NOTE: this does not seem to relate to learning in kindergarten.

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4 thoughts on “Off Topic Response IELTS Essay”

  1. Hello Sir/Madam,
    I have just passed the IELTS test in Afghanistan on 17 th November, I am afraid that I have gone off topic in my writing essay, so I wanted to ask how it will affect my overall writing band.
    regards

    1. If you mean something like 1 of 3 body paragraphs are off topic it sounds like it could score such as
      task response: 6 maximum
      cohesion and coherence: 7 maximum
      lexical resource: likely seven maximum eight
      Grammar: unaffected

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