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Writing

ECONOMY 2

ECONOMY 2

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Comments about the task:

  1. An opinion essay
  2. You must say how much you agree or disagree

Plan:
Totally agree

  1. Corruption
  2. Bad economic policies

Model Answer:
Developed countries have been providing financial aid to third world countries for decades, but it has not changed the economic plight of the poor countries. I totally agree that this aid should be replaced by other more effective types of help because of corruption and poor economic management.

The primary reason why the financial aid provided by the first world countries is not being effective in achieving the results they are intended to achieve is because of the level of corruption prevalent in these poor countries. A major portion of the aid is misappropriated by officials before it trickles down to the people. As most of these leaders are not democratically elected and have a strong grip on power, people have little leverage to change this and hence they benefit less and their situations remain unchanged.

The second reason why this financial aid is not effective is that the governments which are the recipients of this assistance do not have sound economic policies and good governance in place. This means that these governments are not capable of managing the funds properly and the aid will be lost or misused before it reaches the people. Therefore, ensuring governments are capable of managing the funds before they receive them is crucial in achieving positive outcomes from this financial aid.

In conclusion, I reiterate my strong view that other types of support are necessary because financial aid is often misused by recipient countries due to corruption and financial mismanagement. Therefore, I recommend longer term more tenable strategies be put in place to ensure financial aid can be phased out. [266 words]

Language:
developed countries =rich countries
financial aid = money for support
third world countries= countries
corruption = dishonesty
prevalent= common
grip on power=control
leverage = power
recipients = receivers
crucial = vital, important

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5 thoughts on “ECONOMY 2”

  1. Thank you so much Sir for your kind consideration. This website is very helpful. I have been practicing through this website since long time. Thank you so much once again.

    Reply
  2. First world countries usually give the financial assistance to third world countries, but it seems no result to solve the problem for which financial aid had been given due the corruption and poor governance. I completely agree that developed countries should change the mode of aid rather than finance.

    One of the main reason that enforce to become totally agree with the statement is the corruption. Because the corruption works as a barrier between needy people and funded money, the fund does not reach to deserving people. Mostly corrupt politicians take that money for their personal use. One of the best example of this corruption could be seen when WikiLeaks , ; a non-profit organization, exposed it and disclosed the name of some government officials of many countries who had offshore companies that had been built by corrupted money. Since the actual fund did not reach to the deserving people, their situations remain unchanged.

    In addition, poor governance is the second reason that why financial aid does not seems fruitful for poor people. Because the result of weak governance could be seen in their bad economic policies and mismanagement to handle funds, the chances of aid’s misuse and loss is increased before aid reach to the poor people.

    However, as can be seen in the above examples financial aid is not an effective way to help developing countries. Rather than this, affluent countries should change the mode and invest money in Industrialization and education. Industrialization will increase the employment opportunity that contributes to reduce poverty problem. Education could also will be more effective as teaching how to catch fish is much better than giving fish.

    In conclusion, I believe financial add could not solve the problem of poverty because of the corruption and weak government .Therefore, other type of support should be highly considered such as investment in Industries and education

    Reply
    • This is a pretty decent essay. might main suggestions to make paragraph 3 longer and then get rid of the fourth paragraph. This is because:
      1. Paragraph 3 is too short… It’s really not a good idea to write one sentence paragraphs.
      2. Paragraph 4 is not really needed… Starts with the word “however” which makes it seem like there will be a concession in this paragraph but there’s not

      Note that I have a service to completely edit writing and that this is just a couple of quick thoughts:
      https://www.ieltsanswers.com/writing-correction-ielts.html

      Reply
  3. Shoudn’t we include some points about ‘other types of help rather than financial’, like doctors and teachers going to those poor countires to help.

    Reply
    • Hi Yellowtulip. The task does not require you to state the alternatives; however, you could. The way to do this is to state that there are better solutions and then give some examples like you had of doctors and teachers going to those poor countries to help.

      Reply

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