model-essay-CRIME-LAWS-2.html

Some people think that there should be strict laws to control the amount of noise a person makes because of the disturbance it causes to people.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Comments about the task:
  1. This is best written as a two question essay but it can also be written as a both sides and opinion essay
  2. The topic is about laws and not just about whether a person should or should not make noise

Plan:
Advantages:

  1. protect people’s health
  2. enable people to concentrate on their work or study

Disadvantages:

  1. against people’s human rights
  2. unnecessary due to advances in technology

Model Answer:
High levels of noise can be a cause of discomfort and angst; hence, some people believe that there should be strict legislation regarding the level of noise a person can make. This essay discusses the merits and drawbacks of legislative measures to control noise.

There are several reasons why laws should be enacted to strictly control the amount of noise a person produces. The main reason is that exposure to too much noise can be detrimental to people’s health. For instance, loud noises cause headaches and anxiety, which can ultimately lead to clinical depression, especially with the elderly. Additionally, noise can disturb people’s work or study. For example, a university student might have difficulty concentrating while studying for exams because his or her neighbours often have loud parties.

However, there are some drawbacks to having strict laws against making noise. The main one is that people should have the right to make noise. More specifically people should be free to live their lives without the fear of violating laws. For instance, people should be allowed to have parties and celebrations without the need to look over their shoulder.  Secondly, laws against noise may not be needed due to technology providing alternative ways to deal with the problem. For example, scientists have invented walls and windows that can block out the noise, and there are also headphones that can reduce noise.

In conclusion, the merits of controlling noise are that we can safeguard people’s health against the disturbance caused by loud sounds, and enable people to fully concentrate on their work or study; while the drawbacks are that it may violate people’s human rights and be unnecessary due to advances in technology. Overall, it seems that laws should only be applied in extreme circumstances. [293 words]

 Language:
legislation =laws
merits = advantages
drawbacks=disadvantages
disturb= to interrupt somebody
detrimental (causing harm and damage
anxiety=stress
exposure to noise =experiencing noise
violating laws = breaking laws
look over their shoulder= be worried about others
extreme circumstances=unusual situations

IELTS Writing Correction

writing correction ielts

4 thoughts on “model-essay-CRIME-LAWS-2.html”

  1. Hi Mike,
    Thank you for posting the essay! I have a question about the content of this essay.
    I was told not to use idioms for IELTS academic writing.
    Is it okay to use “look over their shoulder” in this essay?
    Please give me some advise on this.

  2. Dear Hitomi. You must be very careful with idiomatic expressions. Some can be used in formal writing and some can’t. If they are used in a natural way and are sufficiently formal they can be used and are beneficial to your score. If you are unsure when writing it is safer to not use them. The example you gave from this essay seems fine to me.

  3. Hi Mike,

    Can we give recommendation statement in conclusion in all kinds of essays. Or only in advantage and disadvantages and opinion essays, as your last sentence in conclusion

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