model essay ARTS AND MEDIA 2

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry.

Do you think the advantages of charging for admission outweigh the disadvantages?

Comments about the task:

  1. An opinion Essay
  2. The question is asking whether the advantages or disadvantages are stronger.
  3. art and the arts have different meanings:

Art means, fine art such as painting, drawing and sculpture. the arts represent subjects such as commerce, economics, philosophy, history and other such non-science subjects.

https://www.usingenglish.com/forum/threads/177861-art-vs-arts

Plan:
advantages

  1. maintaining costs
  2. fund expansion

disadvantages

  1. poor members of society are unable to afford to visit these places
    Model Answer:

With the increasing popularity of museums and art galleries, whether they should be free of charge or not has drawn much discussion amongst the general public. Personally, I am inclined to the view that the merits of charging for entry outweigh the drawbacks.

One of the cogent reasons for charging fees is that the building and the maintenance costs of major museums and art galleries are tremendous. Undoubtedly, by charging a reasonable entry fee, it can help cover the cost incurred as a result of day-to-day activities such as utility bills, maintenance costs, renovation, and staff costs. If these costs were not covered the state of the facilities would deteriorate and be less attractive.

An additional benefit of entrance fees is that they allow these places to expand quicker and they can buy in more exhibits to attract more people. The facilities will also be able to hire famous international artefacts and artworks; thereby enabling them to provide variety so that they can attract greater patronage.  Consequently, charging an admission fee seems very utilitarian to creating better museums and galleries.

However, there are downsides associated with admission fees, one of which is that it may preclude some members of the community from entering the facilities. This is particularly the case if poor members of society are unable to afford to visit these places. It seems a great pity if children and economically disadvantaged people are unable to benefit from the cultural experiences these venues provide.

In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that the benefits of an entry fee, in terms of funding maintenance and expansion prevail over the downsides such as limited access for the poor.

Language:
advocate =  recommend or support
merits = advantages
drawbacks = disadvantages
cogent reasons =clear and logical reasons
tremendous = incredible, wonderful
utility bills= bills for things like power and water
utilitarian = functional, practical
renovation = repair and decorate
admission fees =entrance fees
reiterate = repeat or restate
prevail = overcome, succeed

IELTS Writing Correction

writing correction ielts

12 thoughts on “model essay ARTS AND MEDIA 2”

  1. Hmm.. Something’s wrong here with the essay.
    Do I understand the question correctly? It asks “the advantages of free admission” versus “the disadvantages of free admission”, whereas the essay concludes with the not matching phrase “the benefits of an entry fee”. I suppose the Task Response would be low because of that. Please, correct me if I’m wrong.

    1. Thanks, and you are correct that essay has problems! I have changed the task instructions and also the essay to reflect the point you made.

      1. You don’t need to have any examples. Examples are just one way of developing main ideas..other ways are explaining and adding details.
        Now the task instructions mention “use examples from your own experience” but this is not a requirement.

  2. Hi ,

    The question prompt does not mention anything like “many advocate that ” or “many argue that ” … So, the first two sentences in this essay should just be a paraphrased form of the question right ? Something like ” While some museums and art galleries admit people free of cost, some others do collect an entry free.” Please correct me if I am wrong.

    1. Yes, correct. And I would write it the way you did and then follow with a statement of my opinion about which side outweighs the other.
      The way this person has written this model essay is not wrong though and many people choose to write this way.

  3. Dear Mike,

    First of all, I thoroughly appreciate your efforts to help ielts-takers.

    Im a bit confused. In the conclusion of the essay above it is mentioned it is recommended…..
    1. The Question doesnt ask to give a solution/suggestion;
    2. This suggestion is mentioned in neither introduction nor body larts of the essay; therefore , it is a new idea, which is atypical for conclusion writing requirements in IELTS?

    How much am I right?

    Thanks for your reply.

    1. It’s not wrong for the concluding paragraph of an opinion essay to summarise the key points from the essay and then make some kind of final statement or even solution based on the summary. This is something that can distinguish a level 8 from a level 7writer… If you have my e-book it explains it in there. Anyway, I decided to delete the sentence to avoid confusion and keep things simple on my website

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