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Wild Animals In Zoos Final

Final version: Wild animals being kept in zoos

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Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. 

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Wild animals being kept in zoos is a very controversial issue. This essay, discusses this question from both points of view and then I will give my own opinion on the matter.

On one side of the argument there are people who believe that wild animals should never be kept captive. The main reason for believing that is because keeping wild animals in a confined space, outside their natural habitat, can be quite cruel to them. Animals often suffer to adapt to captive life, some cannot adapt at all and end up dying. Another reason is because exploiting animals and thinking only about the profits is not morally right. A good example is the traditional photo holding a koala offered by every zoo in Australia. The poor animal is held by hundreds of tourists every day just so the zoo can make money.

On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. Some people feel that having zoos can be justifiable. People defend this opinion arguing that taking children to a zoo is the best way to educate them about animals and wildlife. It can help the young ones to develop love and admiration for the animals. A second point is that zoos can help to preserve endangered species by promoting awareness and by raising money for their preservation.

In my opinion, both points of view have their merits. On balance however, I tend to believe that wild animals should not be kept in zoos because it is cruel to them and also because I think there should be different ways to educate children and preserve endangered species.

Grade

 
Task response

8-9

Both sides of the argument are covered really well and then you have an excellent opinion that make sense of it all
Cohesion and coherence

8-9

An excellent overall structure for this essay

The conclusion ties together your opinion to the body of your essay really well

Vocabulary

8

Errors with word choice:

Another reason is because exploiting animals Errors with “s” endings:

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Grammar

7-8

Errors with sentence structure

because exploiting animals and thinking only about the profits is not morally right.

error with referencing [also counts against your grammar score]

endangered species by promoting awareness and by raising money for their preservation

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overall

78

This is really well written. You have excellent main points, the essay is well structured and only a few errors with vocabulary and grammar

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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